In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
