I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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