Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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