I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
