She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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