I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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