Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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