and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My dick has a subreddit
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
