I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
