oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
