Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize