You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
