Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
