VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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