Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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