But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
