Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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