Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
50% drunk capacity currently
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize