about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
