I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dick very happy bro
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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