...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize