lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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