woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize