I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
