kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
