Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Who died my cat blue again?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
