I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
