Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
