maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
