I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
