Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
