Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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