I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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