Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
