we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
