Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
