my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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