Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this will be a night to untag.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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