marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
