false alarm. still invincible.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
