it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
