Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
