I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
