You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
