I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
