why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize