Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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