She is in my trunk
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Shame - the story of my life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
