Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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