East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
