Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
