Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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