I need to stop coming to work sober
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
