She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
