i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
