He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
