Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
