I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
