Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need to calm my uterus...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
