Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
