i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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