So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My penis needs a shock collar
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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